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How to Evaluate Your Relationship with Exercise

Fitness…friend or foe?  

Exercise in its purest form is a wonderful thing – excellent for the mind, body and spirit. 

But just like anything else, too much of a good thing can quickly become bad. 

And in a world with incredible emphasis on appearance and a rally cry of “eat less and move more” it’s far too easy to stumble into dangerous and disordered habits when it comes to why you’re working out. 

I know I sure did. Routines and mindsets I thought were health-conscious and responsible were the very same actions that contributed to a seven-year battle against my own body. And it wasn’t until I was prompted to take a step back, truly evaluate my relationship with exercise and recognize where there was a need for change that I was able to pursue a better way of life. 

Well friend, I want that better life for you, too. So if this is the wake-up call or the sound of the alarm that you need to begin making those same changes, I am thankful for that. 

So, let’s check in. Ask some tough questions. Dig deep, get honest and discover if you and exercise are still going steady, or if it’s time for a serious talk. 

Starting with…what are your intentions? 

When you take a minute and evaluate your “why” when it comes to a workout- what kind of conclusions do you come to? 

What’s motivating you to sign up for that 6am spin class or make the stop at the gym on your way home from work? To take that lunch break run or squeeze in the 10 minute abs session recorded on your phone?

Could it be that you genuinely care about your livelihood, cardiovascular health, staying active or maintaining muscle mass? If so, that’s fantastic. These are the beautiful, health-promoting benefits of a sustained exercise routine and you and fitness are far from a break up. 

However, if you find that your incentivizing factors are focused a bit more on physical results rather than internal prosperity, this might warrant raising a red flag.  

For me, these warning signs looked like working out to earn food and to manipulate my size. I was far more consumed with how fitness could change my appearance rather than benefit my body. Additionally, exercise was a task to complete that made me feel worthy and productive each day. It was a measure of achievement. And thankfully, after a while, I was able to recognize why this approach to movement was not aiding in my health, but rather very much taking away from it. 

You see, fitness is designed to enhance your life and longevity but not at the expense of its complimentary, equally important counterparts- adequate nutrition, rest, recovery and a strong sense of self-worth. When these things begin lacking, it might be time to check-out of the gym check-in with your heart. 

The next question to ask yourself to evaluate your relationship with exercise is, “Is movement a source of joy or a mechanism of punishment?” 

Does it add value to your life? Or does it illicit feelings of dread? 

Put a different way, is it freeing or is it forced? 

This is an important introspection. Because if your answer leans toward the latter, chances are your relationship is on thin ice. 

Exercise is supposed to be enjoyed. It is an outlet to reap copious amounts of physical, mental, emotional and social benefits. It is not best used as a means to an end. 

And, if treated this way- say as a method to shrink your body, justify the dinner you’re having or work off the dessert you’d like, the idea of movement may easily become burdensome. 

So if you’re feeling pressure to exercise or use workouts as a form of personal punishment- I’d urge you to consider making some changes. Perhaps, put things on pause and create new goals for yourself- ones that can be measured by finding joy in activity again. 

Tangibly, this could look like taking up an entirely new form of exercise- trading the weight room for a hot yoga membership or leaving the gym and using your neighborhood walking path as your playground. Or even, if necessary, taking a break from movement altogether.

It doesn’t need to be complicated. The right kind of fitness is the kind that you look forward to and a healthy relationship with exercise is one that gives you the freedom to do so. 

Now I want you to ask yourself, “How would I feel if I couldn’t exercise? Or if I missed a workout? Maybe even a week of them?” 

This is a very exposing set of inquiries because it reveals the level of attachment you have to your fitness routine. It shows you if there is room for flexibility in your relationship with exercise or if separation anxiety is real and alive. 

I’ve heard it said before that clingy isn’t cute and hardly any healthy duo functions well with this sort of intense dependency. So, if you conclude that the thought of missing a workout or being away from the gym for a few days feels difficult or unimaginable, it might be time for a break after all. 

The goal is to feel jazzed and excited about movement, but also inhabit the freedom to forgo a workout if your schedule is tight or your body is tired. No strict rules to attend or overwhelming guilt if you don’t. 

A healthy balance- you look forward to seeing and spending time with each other, but can survive to be apart when necessary- without any mental or emotional repercussions. 

So if this isn’t you right now, it might be beneficial to take an intentional step back. Sit out some sessions and force some down time. Get comfortable being uncomfortable- this is where true growth is born and lasting change is made. 

Easier said than done for sure, but a pivotal place to get to for an improved quality of life and healthier relationship with exercise. 

And lastly, it’s important to acknowledge, “Does what I eat affect how I exercise?” 

What I mean by this is- do you use workouts to justify calories or as a means to make up for them? 

Often times in society you’ll hear “I’ve earned this ice cream” or “I’ll work it off tomorrow”. 

Thus, exercise is used as either a “get out of jail free card” or a form of “correction” for foods you consume- rather than simply existing as a component of your wellness routine totally separate from diet altogether. 

See the difference here? 

What you eat doesn’t need to dictate how you move. And how much you move shouldn’t determine how much you eat. 

The reality is, food and fitness can happily coexist in your life without the pressure of needing one to validate or rationalize the other. From experience I know it’s not fun to operate this way and it’s so freeing to get to a place where you can see the two independent of each other. 

Where you can have your cake, eat it too AND not have to run an extra mile the next day because of it.

So, after considering all of these questions, where do you stand in your relationship? Still happy and in the honeymoon phase or hopeful, but have some thinking to do? 

Regardless of your current status, you deserve the most health-promoting, joy-inflicting, balanced, flexible and no-strings-attached partnership exercise can offer. And I pray that if you don’t already have it, you find it very soon ♡